we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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