So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
smell my finger.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
