i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
