and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
