69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
