i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
