and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
