My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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