I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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