what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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