Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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