i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
