I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
