Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
