I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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