You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
