it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize