Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The feeling are messing with the penis
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
