Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
