apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Fuck appropriateness.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize