Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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