I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
