Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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