I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know, be my cock's hype man.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
