Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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