Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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