Who wears a wallet chain?!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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