Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
