Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize