I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm passing your future prison.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
