New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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