false alarm. still invincible.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize