it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
this hospital has no fireball
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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