walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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