Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize