it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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