If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
