Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
