Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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