i permit you to call me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
