we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
