So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
