Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
