I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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