having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
