toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize