He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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