You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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