Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
