Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
