walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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