her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
