Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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