I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
