the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
