if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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