just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
