guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
